It’s Really Hard to Think About Having a Baby in a World Where Donald Trump Might Become President
Idiocracy

It’s Really Hard to Think About Having a Baby in a World Where Donald Trump Might Become President

There are days when I think infertility is a gift.

Before you roll your eyes and click away, let me explain. I’m not trying to sell you a gratitude journal app or convince you that God has a plan for your life or that you should go vegan or start taking homeopathic anti-stress drops made primarily of brandy, or anything like that. I’m just saying that in a world where Donald Trump seems poised to win the Republican nomination, and perhaps the presidency, maybe it would be best to get a dog. The dog would love me and Mr. Gentlemanface, and when President Trump blew us all to kingdom come, I’d feel bad, but not, you know, baby-bad. Continue reading

“If You Don’t Want to Do IVF, Maybe You Just Don’t Want a Baby”
fertility treatments / IVF

“If You Don’t Want to Do IVF, Maybe You Just Don’t Want a Baby”

To be fair, no one has said this to me in so many words. But I suspect that’s because they’re too busy telling me that I’ll change my mind about IVF.

Yesterday, I told you about how my gynecologist brought up adoption during my annual appointment. I didn’t tell you, because my rant was already far too long and involved, that she spend even more time telling me that I should get IVF.

See, it turns out, she had IVF. I found out, because when I gave her the update on our fertility testing and treatment plans, I included my usual caveat: “We’re willing to do anything up to IVF, but we don’t want to do that.” Continue reading

Maybe *You* Should Adopt, Smartass
Anxiety / Going to the Doctor

Maybe *You* Should Adopt, Smartass

I don’t know what it is about dealing with infertiles, but people really seem to want to tell us that we should adopt. Never mind that adopting isn’t easy, inexpensive, or right for everyone. In most people’s minds, it’s as simple as trotting down to the orphanage and picking out little orphan Annie.

Even people who know better will suggest that adoption is the way to go. A really good friend of mine, one of the single nicest, most intuitive, and most emotionally intelligent people I know, recently suggested adoption to me in the most horrifying way I can imagine.

“Don’t close the door,” she said. “I could see you, in 10 years or so, really falling in love with an older child and being so happy you opened your home to them.”

“Did I do something to upset you?” I asked. “Because I don’t know why you’d say something like that to me otherwise.” Continue reading